Ma doesn’t say many of her old sayings any more. Occasionally she will utter one but more often than not it’s a new turn of phrase. Some real rip snorters in fact…
I’m a bit of a Queen fan (the rock group). Whenever there is thunder around I will utter the words from Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, “Thunder bolt and lightning”. A couple of year’s ago Ma started saying, “very very frightening” in response. I have no idea where she got the words from as she was never a rock and roll aficionado but to this day if I say my line… she will say hers!
These days Ma’s nights and days are very much mixed up. There are many times when she thinks night is day and vice versa. Even though it’s pitch black outside she will still insist it’s daytime and there is something ‘wrong’. After one such occasion she uttered to me, “I don’t like these 24 hour days”.
Some days I can’t win. While we were out shopping I showed Ma a dress I thought would suit her. After looking it up and down she told me she couldn’t wear it because it was a grandma dress! I reminded her she was a grandma… she just looked at me. Undaunted, in the next shop, I showed her another dress to which she told me she couldn’t wear because she was a grandmother… I gave up. No dress was bought that day.
Recently I purchased a bottle of wine and mentioned the name of the wine to Ma. Ma must not have heard me correctly (or I didn’t speak clearly) because Ma responded with, “what?” “You’ve prepared human?” “Since when have you become cannibal?”
I made some waffles recently on Ma’s ancient waffle iron. The ones that weren’t eaten I put in the freezer for later use. Ma requested some of the waffles for her dessert which she polished off with ice cream and maple syrup. After she had finished demolishing them she told me she could still hear them ‘waffling’…
My favourite new saying of Ma’s would have to be this one… The other day I asked Ma if she wanted something to drink to which she replied, “yes”. When I asked her what she wanted she told me she wanted something, “wet and wild”… I finally worked out she meant brandy. The new name for brandy in our house is, “wet and wild”.
Every new little saying or quip gives me a giggle. The mother of my past is slowly diminishing. This new mother is different but still amusing.